Saturday, December 31, 2005

Happy Old Year

A couple of observations as we head into a new year:

--Auto Review: I had to take my car in for repair the other day. I was given a Dodge Durango as a loaner. Being that this was the first time that I had an SUV for an extended period of time (3 days), I now understand a little bit more the allure of these vehicles. You really do command the road. You're so high off of the ground, and you feel like you're in a tank. Here's the serious drawback, however: the 2006 Dodge Durango gets 14-16 mpg (city). My car gets 25-26 mpg (city). I wasn't thrilled by the fueling costs, to say the least. In the end, the Dodge Durango is a vehicle that is entirely too large for basic necessity and is completely inefficient. Boo SUVs.

--Speaking of efficiency: I really admire winter cyclists. Immensely. I bicycle all the time during the summer, but I don't ride as a commuter in any season. And I have good reasons: to commute by bike for me, considering my job, would be a major hassle as well as a bike security issue. If I ever switch careers, however, I will reconsider.

--Question: Why doesn't anyone make a bigger deal about the lack of minority coaches in the National Hockey League?

--Tip: If you're moving, and you ask you're friends for help, make sure to have everything packed and ready to move when your help arrives. Just being courteous.

--Holidays: The Blog of Failed Dreams prefers "Happy Old Year" to "Happy New Year". It's a way of putting the past in the past and clearing the slate. I kind of like it. I think.

--Question #2: Why don't they ever show the "Player's Wives / Girlfriends" seating area during televised figure skating competitions?

--News: No news yet on the "ink" thing (see previous post).

--News #2: "Doogie" of KFAN-AM 1130 Twin Town fame did the sports broadcast on two television stations Thursday night. I haven't heard how it went, but, knowing Doogie, I will.

--Observation: One on One Bike Studio is one of the craziest, and yet successful, business concepts I've ever encountered. And the bike basement / junkyard may be the best enclosed space in the entire Twin Town.

--Gambling: Pro Football picks for this week (normally I would never do this, but I was asked to by a friend, so I thought I'd let everyone else know my picks as well; it's only fair). Not using the spread:
New England
Tampa Bay
San Francisco

--This "Reggie Bush Lottery" is ridiculous. As per usual, the guess here is that the best player in the draft (when discussed in 2015) will be someone other than Mr. Bush.

--Observation: Did you know the the people of this country have the power to cancel the charters of every U.S. based corporation, and could do so tomorrow (through Congress and/or state legislatures)? Just like that...poof...gone. Just like me.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Fogbot Gets Ink and Looks to Get More

A couple of quick thoughts from the lonesome, crowded Midwest:

--Fogbot got some ink earlier this week in the "Uni-Watch" column on ESPN.com. Expertly written by Paul Lukas, "Uni-Watch" focuses on trends in uniform design and usage by professional, college, and national sporting teams/individuals. The column also addresses Fogbot's serious personal interest/illness in sports uniform design. In fact, this is one of the areas that Fogbot points to when he argues that he may or may not suffer from a mild form of autism. Anyway, take a look at the article by hitting the link above and see if you can identify the real name of the man they call "Fogbot." Enjoy.

--Fogbot is hot on the trail of an endeavor which may gain him more, shall we say, "ink", as well. Check back for updates -- you'll know as soon as Fogbot does.

--Enjoy your New Year's celebrations, and make sure to get your "Dead Pool" lists in to your leagues. If you don't partake in a "Dead Pool" league, you're missing out.


Sunday, December 25, 2005

I Heart Holidays

Celebrate Christmas
Invite relatives over
Hide downstairs, get drunk

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Titled Heavy Beat, Part Me

Christmas time again
Does god know we're lonely souls?
My brother's in trash

Hannukah time
Does god know we're lonely souls?
Brother's in garbage

It's Yule time again
My god I'm a lonely soul
Pick it up pick it

Peace to you and yours
But especially to yours
Definitely yours

Or is yours now mine?
Mine mine mine mine mine mine mine
Was yours is now mine

I try to sing 'long
But I keep forgetting words
I can't sing along

The tone is all wrong
Turn my headphones up, up, up
Turn my headphones up

Give me heavy beats
And drop that bass line right there
Yeah, that bass line there

I can't hear myself
I said turn my headphones up
Oh, ok, there it goes

I am inside you
It's to let you fall in love
Walk 'round inside you

Send me a lesson
Please just send me a lesson
Just let me know why

Just let me know why
Baby knows baby knows why
Got my lesson nigh

Fat bloody fingers
They're sucking your soul away
Losing my patience

Fat bloody fingers
I am losing my patients
Suck your soul away

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

End of the Nightmare

It seems as though the movement of the nation towards conservatism, and, by nature, Conservatives, is drawing to a close.

I'll wait for you to grab a tissue...



Ok...if you're ready to continue, I can tell you that the evidence of the demise of the conservatives is all around us. Look around. Do you see it?

You're not convinced, are you?

I'll help: look at KSTP 1500 AM here in Twin Town. They're shaking up their broadcast schedule. Big time.

Limbaugh? Gone.

Hannity? Moved to late night, 10PM - Midnight.

Bob Davis? He loses his morning drive-time slot.

Non-conservatives like T.D. Mischke (formerly 10PM - Midnight; now 5:30-7:30PM) and Ron Rosenbaum (formerly 9AM-Noon; now Noon-2PM) shift to time slots associated with higher listenership.

It's stunning how the crumbling of conservatives/Conservatives is reflected in pop culture, especially in the self-revision of the former conservative radio giant in Twin Town.

Look for more evidence soon.

Sunday, December 18, 2005


Tired of haiku yet?
Comments have not been telling
Need to update links

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Holiday v. Christmas

"Christmas" discussion
Or is it called "holiday"
Big controversy
Ponder if you will
This isn't about belief
Or non-believers
It's about language
And who controls the culture
And the spoken word
I frame the debate
As a battle for culture
And who defines it
Rankles Christians
Dishonest are their motives
Let's be very clear
Either that or this:
They don't understand the stakes
Larger than Jesus
Culturally open
We must try to be open
And to embrace all
Not about "Christmas"
And not about "holiday"
Respect all beliefs

Thursday, December 15, 2005


U.S. Army can't torture
Best hire "contractors"

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Infallible to Fallible

Bush admits failures
30k Iraqis dead
Seems like a fair trade

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Ode to LA While Thinking of Stanley "Tookie" Williams, Deceased

"An eye for an eye!"
The ol' conservatives cheer
Quelling their own fear
Their Bible is clear
"Punishment should be severe
Oh, and repent, too"
Now blood's on our hands
We're guilty for we condoned
State-sponsored murder
And that's what it is
Execution is murder
Will you now repent?

Monday, December 12, 2005

Soviet Assassin Journalist

Siegenthaler joke
Went too far, humor lost
New Internet regs?

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Sheep Skin

Classes are over
Hooray, graduation day
Hers -- with distinction

Saturday, December 10, 2005


Past "stars" on TV
Pitching infomercial shit
Staying off welfare

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Trash 'Stache

Decorate your face
With a moustache in this case
Disrespect your race?

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

The Sounds of the St. Lawrence

Montreal music scene
Arcade Fire's anthems cascade
The Stars in your ears?


It's so cold outside
Frigid wind, blowing snow and
I'm staying inside