Thursday, March 30, 2006

It's Like a Rap Song

[photo caption] From the Fourth Coast, its Tha 446. (photo courtesy Two Thumbs Down Records)

Fact: I went to high school with one of these guys.

Fact: He slept with my girlfriend in high school.

Fact: I slept with his girlfriend in high school when my girlfriend in high school became his girlfriend in high school.

Fact: We're both bald.

Fact: Only one of us admits it.

Fact: His rap group, Tha 446, put out this video.

Fact: His rap group, Tha 446, made this song.

Fact: His rap group, Tha 446, is playing a show next week (4/6) in Chitown at the Subterranean. You (yes, I'm looking at you in particular) should check it out if you're a former St. Paulite now living in Chicago, if you know what I mean. Tell him you know Tuffy. He won't know what you're talking about.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Cat6 Training Camp: Photographic Evidence

[photo caption] Cat6's Tuffy (L) and Fil used team time-trialing tactics in an effort to get back into the competition at the 3rd Annual Dogwood Classic road race in Bradleyville, Missouri on March 25. Tuffy and Fil finished 24th and 25th, respectively, out of the 38 riders that started the race. Some might say that that's not even top-half; Cat6'ers would say that it's not last. (photo courtesy Some Guy in Missouri)

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Cat6 Training Camp: Race Day

[photo caption] According to Tuffy's intense research, 2 out of 3 Masters racers in Missouri are incapable of riding in a paceline. (photo courtesy Abbike.Com)

Tuffy never had a chance.

After putting 190.7 miles in on the bike (plus another five on his feet walking) during the 2006 Cat6 Training Camp, I was thinking about how the 3rd Annual Dogwood Classic Road Race in Bradleyville, MO would play out as we cruised in our team car towards registration.

I was tired.

I can't climb hills very fast.

I've been dropped on the first significant climb in every race I've ever ridden.

Now, my third and final goal for the week was to finish the race in the main pack. As I thought more about it, the more I realized that there was little to no chance that I would be able to hang.

Then, as I went out to warm up before the race, my front tire blew out. This was the fourth flat in four days. The omens were obvious.

After hustling back to the team car and quickly switching wheels, I got a five minute warm-up in. This was going to hurt.

As the race began, I was riding in the pack trying my best to stay out of the wind. Unfortunately, I found myself towards the back half of the pack just after the start. The bad part about this, of course, is that the back of the pack is where the knuckleheads who don't know how to pack ride hang out. Sketchiness abound. And that really throws off any rhythm that you're trying to build.

After the first set of rollers, I was still there. Then, however, the bigger climbs started, and I was no longer there. I didn't even fight to hang onto the back as I knew that bigger climbs were just around the corner.

Fil was just about as unlucky. His chain popped off just after I was dropped. Together, we decided to keep going, hoping that we could catch and pass some other dropees in the next 43 miles.

We caught another guy and started a pace line. That lasted about a hundred yards before I fell off the back again. Fil, not noticing that I wasn't there, was doing all the work, which 1) didn't help Fil in the long run, 2) enabled the other guy to get a free ride, and 3) was working directly against me.

After a few minutes, Fil noticed what happened and pulled off, briefly doubling back to gather me (I was about 15 seconds back). Fil threw out the idea of DNFing. I suggested we just ride it out as a training ride and see what happens.

Eventually the Masters group caught us. So, we did what any self-respecting Cat6 Squad member would do and sucked wheels as long as we could. Luckily, we got about ten miles out of this.

Then, they too dropped us on the biggest hill on the course.

Later, a Masters splinter group caught us, so we started sucking their wheels. Eventually one of the old farts yelled at me, saying, "C'mon guys! If you're going to hang in, you're going to have to work!"

And he was exactly right -- we weren't doing any work. But neither were the two other guys in the group, and it was against those two guys that he was racing, not us. In my mind, I decided that until the old guy could get the other two guys to put together a semblance of a paceline, I wasn't going to do anything. And that paceline never happened. Then, they too dumped us on the last climb of the day.

As Fil and I arrived at the top of the final climb, we found ourselves amidst two other 4/5s in our race. I tried to get a paceline going, but Fil was the only one left who had anything to give -- the other two guys were dead weight. So I got to the front, thought I had Fil behind me, and took off on a downhill three miles from the finish.

Fil didn't follow. I don't think he expected me to go, and it was probably my fault that I didn't tell him of such. But he did what any good teammate would do and sat at the front and stalled allowing me to get away.

I stayed away on the final three miles which was all downhills and flats -- my proper riding environment. I ended up catching another 4/5 before sitting up and rolling across the finish.

Fil took off in a mini-break about a mile from the line and was the next finisher after me, about 20 seconds back.

The results haven't been posted yet, but out of 38 starters, I'm guessing we were right around the 30 spot. And, yeah, going on a three mile breakaway to finish 30th isn't exactly the coolest, but I had the legs and I wanted to at least end the race on a good note, which I did.

Unfortunately for Fil, he might've been able to hang with the pack had it not been for our three days of training rides, but, then again, that's why we were there anyway.

The End.

Friday, March 24, 2006

Cat6 Training Camp: Day 3

[photo caption] This is what the radioactive fallout area would look like if a reasonably minded nation would ever get the courage up to level Branson, MO with a nuclear weapon. We can all have dreams -- don't trample on mine. (photo courtesy NOAA.Gov)

I just wrote a huge post about Day 3. Then, I deleted it. On accident.

Here's the skinny: Good weather, great ride. Lots of hills today. Nasty headwind for parts. Lots of rollers. Some big climbs thrown in.

Goals: Not going to get 300 miles (unreasonable anyway). Going to lose the five pounds. Going to finish in the pack at the race tomorrow?

Fil: Don't take your eyes off of him. Went to the bathroom at dinner -- came back to find employees singing happy birthday to me tonight. I'm a Leo.

The first post was much better, but it took a half-hour to write, but now it's gone and you're left with this crap. Take what you can get, bitches.

Cat6 Training Camp: Day 2

[photo caption] Branson, MO: Not nearly as sweet as it looks in this picture. (photo courtesy the State of Missouri)

What is your first clue that it's going to be a crappy ride?

Is it:
1) Within the first two miles you blow out your rear tube.
2) Within the first six miles your riding partner blows his left crank off his bike, causing the bolt to skid across the road and hide in some tall weeds, causing us about ten minutes of search time.
3) When you get to a confusing fork in the road, you stop in to a gas station to ask directions and they give you the wrong answer.
4) When part of your ride route includes the "Hillbilly Capital of the World" -- Branson, MO.
5) When you crack on a hill at mile 40.
6) When going up a hill at mile 50 you blow out your rear tube again.
7) When trying to nurse a sick bike back to HQ, the tube loses pressure for the third time.
8) When your partner has to ride up the road 15 miles to fetch the car while you have to walk to a gas station at the intersection of US 65 and MO Hwy 176.
9) When there ends up being no gas station at 65 and 176.
10) When you end up walking your bike for two hours over five miles in a direction your riding partner doesn't think you'll go, leaving you stranded out in the middle of nowhere in the cold with no cell phone or hooch.

And this morning my legs hurt. I can't tell if it's the 131.9 miles of hill riding I've done in two days or the five mile walk in cycling shoes last night.

I'm going to hang out in the hot tub for a little while this morning. Get ahold of my soigneur if you need me.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Cat6 Training Camp: Day 1

[photo caption] The topography of 53 miles worth of Wedsnesday's ride. (photo courtesy of Ozark Cycling Club)

2006 Cat6 Training Camp: Day 1

After an all-night driveathon, the Cat6 Team arrived in beautiful and scenic Ozark, Missouri. The first order of business was to check in to the Cat6 HQ – in this case, the Days Inn – Ozark. Unfortunately for us, the Days Inn was sticking to their 2pm check-in time. It was 8am.

What to do? Take a page out of Superrookie’s playbook, that’s what! Waffle House, here we come! After Tuffy had ordered his “MVP Breakfast”, Fil asked the Question of the Day. Here’s how that dialogue went:

Fil: “What exactly are grits?”
Waitress (staring at Fil as if he is the biggest moron on the planet): “Harmefisoiuzy.”
Fil: “What?”
Waitress: “Harmefisoiuzy.”
Fil (with a blank expression): “Toast and hashbrowns, please.”

Tuffy’s impressions of southeastern Missouri so far:
--Stereotypes are stereotypes because they’re stereotypes, know what I’m saying?
--Whenever the churches are consistently larger in physical size than the schools in the area, that’s a bad sign.
--After spending 30 seconds in Ozark, it’s very clearly understood why a) Kerry lost the election and why b) Bush uses his Texas ranch as a Hollywood-esque backdrop.
--Ozark is the blue collar town; Nixa is the yuppie enclave.
--Ozark is the blue collar town; Branson is the blue hair town.
--Doing a 70+ mile ride this afternoon on 3 hours of sleep, 1 MVP Breakfast, 2 rolls of chewy sprees, 1 Mountain Dew, 1 large cup of coffee, 6 jawbreakers, and a handful of crackers is going to hurt. Bad.


PS: We’re actually scouting the route for the 3rd Annual Dogwood Classic road race today. While we’ll be doing our best impression of Postal checking out those Pyrenees stages, it will certainly be unfortunate that George Hincapie won’t be around for us, unlike Lance and Co., to pick on.

81.2 miles, 5.5 hours. We got back to HQ after dark -- not a good idea, but not planned, either. The major malfunction was planning ride time based on Minnesota standards -- forgot to plan on all of the hills.

And this race is going to be a monster -- 53 miles of four major climbs and descents, with the first 2o miles all uphill. This caused Cat6 to state our race tactics as such: no attacks/sit in/sit in/sit in/if a chance to sprint towards the end appears, take it/end.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Cat6 Training Camp: Departure

Tuesday, March 21:
Departure date for the 2006 Category 6 Racing Squad Training Camp.

Goals for the Training Camp:
1) 300+ miles in four days
2) Lose five pounds
3) Climb at least 7,000 total feet
4) Don't get run over
5) Don't engage locals in debate regarding the "War of Northern Aggression"

and, because we're Cat6, #6:
6) Finish in the main group at the 3rd Annual Dogwood Road Race on Saturday, March 25

Monday, March 20, 2006

Mailbag -- Ron Howard

[photo caption] What color is the sky as seen through Ron Howard's viewfinder? (photo courtesy Jacneed.com)

Time to clear out the mailbag.

Q: So why does Ron Howard suck?
--Pedro Saviterre, Mexico

Great question, Pedro. First, we must acknowledge that Ron Howard sucks. Now that we've gotten the fact that Ron Howard sucks out of the way, we can discuss why, in fact, Ron Howard sucks.

As a director, Ron Howard is in a position at this point in his career to choose his films at will. Taking a look at Howard's films over said career, a person is no doubt taken aback by the box office success many of his films have enjoyed. Here's a partial list of his directorial credits: Cocoon, Willow, Parenthood, Far and Away, Backdraft, Apollo 13, EdTV, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, A Beautiful Mind, Cinderella Man, and the yet-to-be-released Da Vinci Code.

Quite a substantial body of work.

However, two titles stick out: A Beautiful Mind and Cinderella Man. Both of these films, unlike the rest of Howard's work, are "bio-pics" -- biographies told in a cinematic format.

Now, here's the problem: Ron Howard is a historian's worst nightmare.

Why? Because Ron Howard takes a biography, subtracts large amounts of "truth" and "objectivity" and "reality", leaving the viewing audience with, well, "fiction".

Don't trust me? Let's take a look at A Beautiful Mind, supposedly the life story of Nobel Prize-winning mathematician and mental illness-sufferer John Nash. Here's an entry on the film from Answers.com:
"[A Beautiful Mind] should not be regarded as a biography of (John) Nash, nor as a film version of (Sylvia) Nasar's book. It is a drama inspired by the life of John Nash.

Akiva Goldsman (the screenwriter) brought to the script his life experience as the son of child psychologist Mira Rothenberg, who maintained a group home for emotionally disturbed children in the family's residence. Goldsman said that his goal was 'to use [the story of John Nash's] journey to give some insight into what it might feel like to suffer from this disease.' It can be inferred that Goldsman's priority was conveying the truth of the inner experience of schizophrenia, rather than the documenting the factual data of John Nash's life.

Critics argue that the movie glosses over his alleged homosexual relationships, his anti-Semitic statements, his abandoning a woman shortly after fathering a child with her, and that it rewrites his actual psychotic experience (eg. being 'attacked by Napoleon' or being 'the left foot of God') into a more exciting but fictional account.

The movie also misrepresents the effect Nash's mental illness had on his work. The movie depicts Nash as already suffering from schizophrenia when he wrote his doctoral thesis. In reality, Nash's schizophrenia did not appear until years later and once it did his mathematical work ceased until he was able to bring it under control.

Many of the specific incidents and life events depicted in the movie do not correspond to anything mentioned in Nasar's biography. 'There are many discrepancies between the book and the film,' says a Nash FAQ on the Princeton website. For example, the pen ceremony 'was completely fabricated in Hollywood. No such custom exists.' The scene in which Nash thanks his wife Alicia during his Nobel prize acceptance speech is fictitious; Nobel prize winners do not give acceptance speeches, and Nash was not invited to give the traditional Nobel lecture due to concerns about his illness.

The plot of the movie makes much of Alicia Nash's unwavering devotion to her husband. In reality, the Nash's divorced in 1963 and lived apart for several years. In 1970, Alicia allowed John to live in her house but it was not a romantic relationship. It was not until the 1990s, when John was recovering from his mental illness, that their romantic relationship was revived and the couple remarried in 2001.

The scene in which Nash demonstrates to his girlfriend his ability to find any specified pattern in a starry sky does not correspond to anything in the book; nor does the scene in which Nash's infant son almost drowns because he believes that his hallucinatory colleague Charles is taking care of him; nor Nash having delusions of a password-generating device being implanted in his arm; nor were Nash's hallucinations both visual and auditory, in reality they were exclusively auditory."

But, hey, that's what the term "artistic license" is for anyway, right?

Ron Howard's "interpretations" of history doesn't stop with A Beautiful Mind, however. In 2005, Howard bastardized the biography of boxer James J. Braddock with his film Cinderella Man.

How true was Howard to history this time around? Again, let's check in with Answers.com:
"Max Baer is portrayed as a complete villain who behaves inappropriately outside the ring and viciously inside (to the point of killing two opponents in the ring).

According to film critic Roger Ebert, boxing historians and Baer's relatives have disputed the film's version of Baer and have also contributed to the negative publicity. Baer's relatives and boxing historians have criticized the film's depiction of him, arguing that he killed only one man in the ring, Frankie Campbell, not two, and was considered to be a gentleman by the man who defeated him for the title, Joe Louis. This is supported by historical evidence which shows that Baer's demeanor, both within and outside the ring, was much less brutal than the film portrayed.

Others assert that Baer was kind, charismatic, loved and respected, pointing out the emotional pain that Baer endured the rest of his life following Campbell's death, and the fact that he gave purses from his bouts to Campbell's family."

But, hey, why make Max Baer into a great guy when this film obviously needs a villain, right? Nevermind that the real villain of the film was the Depression-era desolation and destitution that so many Americans were forced to live in because the right-wing politicians running the country at the on-set of the Depression did very little to initiate or promote social-welfare programs because they were so blinded by their own political rhetoric.

But, hey, we don't want to make this film political, now do we, Ron Howard?

Instead, let's savage the reputation of a man in Max Baer that, to a 2005 film viewing audience, is largely -- if not completely -- unknown.

Let's skip right over the fact that Baer was haunted by the death of Campbell in the ring to the point that he not only donated a percentage of his later boxing earnings to Campbell's family, but also reported having terrible nightmares regarding his opponent's death for years afterwards.

Let's also skip right over the fact that Baer took a moral stand against the rise of the Nazis in the early 1930s (before most Americans were aware of the threat) by placing a Star of David on his boxing trunks, representing his Jewish heritage for all to see (Baer's father was half Jewish).

In the end, a viewer of Ron Howard's bio-pic work is left with the question, "Why?"

Why take the life stories of two fascinating men and completely and utterly corrupt them when it is unnecessary to the telling of both stories?

There is so much material to work with in both Nash's and Braddock's lives that to subtract so much truth and degrade their relevance to history by turning fact into fiction is abhorrent and entirely unconscionable.

Shame on you, Ron Howard. And that's why you suck.

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Hijinks in the High Rockies

[photo caption] What!? I was just out racing in a non-sanctioned event that my organization put on during my two-year suspension! What's wrong with that?! (photo courtesy T-MobileTeam.com)

Imagine you as a top international pro cyclist.

Imagine you did what most top international pro cyclists do -- you doped.

Imagine you got caught after winning your second major international event in one month.

Imagine you were suspended for two years, retroactive to right around September 1, 2004.

Imagine you were trying to think about ways to get back into racing shape for the end of your suspension in September 2006.

Imagine you decided to use your charitable organization as a "supporter" of a series of "unsanctioned local criteriums".

Imagine you raced in said criteriums.

Imagine you received word from the international cycling union via your national cycling organization that you were violating the terms of your suspension by racing in these "unsanctioned crits".

What would you imagine yourself doing next?

Thursday, March 16, 2006

St. Pericles' Day

[photo caption] Greece's St. Pericles, namesake of St. Pericles' Day. According to legend, St. Pericles rid the island of Crete of skates. Historians still aren't sure what he had against hockey, however. (photo courtesy Greece)

Man, I so excited for Friday! St. Pericles' Day! Can you believe it's already here again? Seems like time moves so fast!

I don't know where you'll be at Friday, but I'll be over at the Athenian downing as many olives as I can during their "St. Pericles' All-You-Can-Eat Olive Night"! What a great deal, too -- $20 for the whole night!

Hope you've got your plans set for St. Pericles' Day! Take advantage, because it's not every year St. Pericles' Day falls on a Friday, allowing you to sleep off your olive-induced hangover all day Saturday!


Wednesday, March 15, 2006

2006 Cat6 Training Camp

[photo caption] CSC's Dave Zabriskie reacts to news of the 2006 Cat6 Training Camp. Unfortunately, Zabriskie will not be in attendance. (photo courtesy Pez Cycling News)

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: Category 6 Racing Squad Announces 2006 Training Camp

Category 6 Racing Squad today announced the itinerary for its first-ever training camp. The 2006 Cat6 Training Camp will be held in Ozark, Missouri from Wednesday, March 22 through Saturday, March 25.

"The area around Ozark will provide for very nice weather and good roads to train on," stated Cat6 domestique Fil Drummond.

The weather in southwestern Missouri has been extremely pleasant so far this month, even reaching 67 degrees fahrenheit today.

Drummond, who played a key role in training camp planning, also relayed that, "We're looking to get in a lot of miles, with the possibility of finishing up the week with a training race on Saturday."

Drummond was alluding to the 3rd annual Dogwood Road Race to be held in Sparta, Missouri on Saturday, March 25. The 53 mile course includes over 2,600 feet of climbing and takes place on a clean and fast blacktop surface.

Along with Drummond, Cat6's Tuffy has already committed to the camp, while Skidsy McSkids may or may not also be in attendance.

Cat6's official Minnesota season-opening race is the Oxbow Classic in Rochester, Minnesota on Saturday, April 15.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Lots O' Stuff

[photo caption] Either this guy smiling isn't in the loop on Minnesota high school hockey, or he just doesn't have anything to say about it. (Photo courtesy USA Hockey)

This is going to be a "Superrookie-style" post today, meaning short blather on lots of non-interesting topics.

Item #1: Glen Sonmor is Irrelevant
Minnesota hockey icon Glen Sonmor doesn't get it. Sonmor -- the former General Manager of both the St. Paul Fighting Saints (WHL) and Minnesota North Stars (NHL), a former head coach of the University of Minnesota Gophers, and the current color commentator for said college team -- was on KFAN AM today. Sonmor was holding court with guest host Eric Gislason when the topic of the high school hockey tournament came up, with Sonmor poo-poo'ing the fact that both state hockey tournaments were won by private schools.

Tuffy bit.

In his call to KFAN, Tuffy put it to Sonmor and Gislason something like this: "I have no problem with the idea that Cretin-Derham Hall won the AA tournament. But the fact that St. Thomas Academy won the Class A tournament is all wrong. It's not about recruiting, and it's not about enrollment. What the High School League has to do is to classify teams not by enrollment, but by the percentage of their student body that participates in athletics. Private schools commonly have over 80% of their students in athletics, whereas many public schools struggle to get to 50%. St. Thomas has no business being in the Class A tournment, let along winning it. I'll hang up and listen."

Now, I'm no genius, but that's a very salient observation on a very controversial topic. Sonmor didn't answer it, instead talking about open-enrollment issues, which have nothing to do with my point. Gislason passed completely, instead taking the next caller.

Good job, KFAN.

Item #2: Power Goes Out at the Seward Co-op
The power went out at the Seward Co-op today, meaning that they had to get rid of all refridgerated items, pronto. Since Tuffy had inside information on the issue, he got over there to score free sushi, orange juice, chicken breasts, and a sandwich. Since the Co-op gets reimbursed via insurance, all of the items found wanting recipients, be it employees, the needy, and others.

Item #3: Tour of 10,000 Lakes Cancelled
Huge blow to the Minnesota amateur cycling community. We'll see if any teams step up to run any races over the Memorial Day weekend.

Item #4: 2006 Category 6 Racing Squad Training Camp is Scheduled
The 2006 C6RS Training Camp will be held in a place to be determined on dates to be determined. Rumor has it that it will be in the Ozarks of Missouri beginning in the middle of next week, however.

Tuffy out.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Ode to Kirby Puckett on a Snowy, Sunday Eve

[photo caption] Kirby Puckett, 1960-2006. Centerfielder, Cosmic All-Stars. (Photo courtesy Minneapolis Star-Tribune)

Tuffy watched a bit of the Kirby Puckett Memorial Extravaganza tonight coming live to you from the Metrodome. Check your local listings.

Tuffy had a couple of thoughts:
--Tuffy doesn't want to be at his own memorial service. Just let me die in peace, throw me in the ground, then put the blurb in the paper. In lieu of flowers, just put random bicycle gear on my grave.
--Do ex-major leaguers age faster than the rest of us, or does it just look like that?
--Whatever Tom Kelly was doing by getting all of his old players to line up behind him got Tuffy to go outside and walk his dog.
--You do know that Kirby's children were adopted, right?
--If you want a nice, but rational, view of Puckett's legacy, take a look at Patrick Reusse's column in Sunday's Strib.
--And this is the final thought: Being that Tuffy was a youngster when Puckett was an active player, Kirby was a big part of Tuffy's childhood. Thus, when Puckett died, a little piece of my childhood died too. Sure, they memories Tuffy has of his childhood were already memories, but now there's an added layer of abstraction -- another character from those memories no longer occupies this world. And that world will go on, but it is one more notable mile marker on the life that is Tuffy's...a life, too, that will someday end.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

You don't want free stats counters. Really.

Freestatscounter.com can kiss my ass.

A couple of months ago, I wandered to their site and picked myself up a, well, free stat counter. Thing is, they wanted it presented centered and to include a lame-ass advertisement.

Tuffy said, "Screw that," and immediately changed some of the presentation issues with his limited html skillz.

Well, Freestatscounter.com has now caught up to Tuffy's scam and has disabled his counter. Or so it appears.

Dang...I'd feel really silly if their site was only down or something.

PS: Ron Howard sucks. More on that later.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Frame For Sale, $350

2003 Salsa Campeon, 60cm, Scandium, Ultra-rare Cat6 Team Edition Frame for sale.



For more information, click here.

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Moral Dilemma: A Resolution

If you joined us yesterday, you found out that Tuffy recently faced a moral dilemma of epic proportions: what color helmet should he purchase for the 2006 bicycle racing season?

Option 1: Purchase the silver 2006 LaZer Genesis team issue,


Option 2: Purchase a special edition white 2006 LaZer Genesis as worn by Tom "T-Bone" Boonen and other dedicated followers of fashion.

What to do, what to do?

Tuffy thought long and hard about this issue. He consulted a fortune teller. He called Mario "The Lion King" Cipollini. He slept on it. He dreamt about it. He ran the question past his Magic 8-Ball.

Still, nothing could help him make the decision.

Actually, that's not true: Cipollini said, "Silver or white? That's an easy one, hombre!"

So, aside from Cipollini, nothing could help him make the decision.
[photo caption] Mario "The Lion King" Cipollini, a.k.a. "The Voice of Reason".

Finally, a call to Fil Drummond provided a solution.

Tuffy: Fil?
Fil: Yeah?
Tuffy: What color helmet do you think I should get this year? Silver or white?
Fil: I'll tell you for $10.
Tuffy: Shut up. No, really -- what color?
Fil: $7.
Tuffy: You done yet?
Fil: Sure.
Tuffy: So, what color?
Fil: What color do you want to get?
Tuffy: White.
Fil: Well, then get white.
Tuffy: But here's the real question -- is a helmet a part of the team kit?
Fil: Yes.
Tuffy: Then I should probably just get silver, right?
Fil: Yeah. Plus, you could always wear one of your white helmets to switch it up once in a while.
Tuffy: Cool.

Just like that, ladies and gentlemen, we have your winner:

Friday, March 03, 2006

Moral Dilemma

[photo caption] The fact that Tuffy would wear a Genesis was never in question; what color Genesis was another issue.

Recently, Tuffy was forced to grapple head-on with a serious moral dilemma.

Abortion? No.

Religion? No.

Death penalty? No.

Paper or plastic? No.

What color helmet to purchase for the 2006 season? Yes.

The helmet to be purchased is a (brand new for 2006) LaZer Genesis with the Rollsys system. But the color, well, that was another problem all together.

The team is ordering silver. This is logical, as the team's kit is a combination of black, white, and silver. Therefore, silver will look stylish, as well as to function as a component of the team's kit itself.
[photo caption] Tom "T-Bone" Boonen's bling-encrusted LaZer Genesis.

On the other hand, Tuffy has always worn white helmets. It's just part of his "look", along with his white saddles, white bar tape, white gloves, white water bottles, and white sunglasses. Thus, the idea of not ordering a white LaZer Genesis was a bit of a sticky-wicket. Add to that that Tom "T-Bone" Boonen is wearing a white LaZer Genesis this season as part of his World Champ Quick Step kit this season (with a $10,000 diamond implanted in the helmet) only compounded the crisis.

What was Tuffy to do? Check back soon for the resolution.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Ride Summary

[photo caption] Mario "The Lion King" Cipollini, the most stylish professional cyclist of all-time.

Went for the first serious outdoor ride of the season today. Felt ok, and the weather was decent, though not a spectacular high of about 40.

Didn't ride as fast as the guy above -- of course, I didn't want to. That wouldn't make any sense on March 1.

I didn't look as stylish, either. It's still early in the season, however.

Just wait.