Thursday, January 12, 2006

A Citizen's Duty, Part II

(photo caption) What do roosters have to do with jury duty? Read on.

(In Part I, Fogbot received notification of his impending jury duty.)

Somewhere around 9 am the Jury Office manager-esque guy came out of the main office onto the floor, stood behind a podium, and turned his microphone on. Dave proceeded to give us the ins and outs of jury duty, gave us a brief outline of what our day would look like, and threw one of those really bad, high school-era informational videos into the VCR.

Almost immediately, four monitors -- located in each corner of Room 30 -- began to play "All Rise: Jury Duty in Minnesota." Fogbot learned what "voir dire" meant.

After the film was over, Dave returned to the mic, touching on a few more subjects. First, he wanted to address sequestration (a juror won't be sequestered in Ramsey County until deliberation, and only then if deliberation will take longer than one day) and his method of updates (he'd update us "every half hour on the hour").

Before he was done, Dave had one more announcement: the first jurorists had been summoned. A group would be going before the Honorable Kathleen Gearin immediately. Dave called 25 or so names off, the chosen stood, walked to the front of the room, and departed with the judge's clerk. Game on.

The rest of us stayed behind. Feeling a sense of inferiority over the fact that, of 156 potential jurors, Fogbot hadn't been called, he began to look about the room, focusing on the characters around him.

After a few moments, these were the exact thoughts Fogbot wrote on the backside of an envelope:

"1) 'The Rooster' -- arrived late; paced around at the front of the room in a jacket that was at least ten years out of fashion; possessed haircut of same vintage, complete with 'part-spike'; seemed to think he was more important than most

2) 'Neil' -- the guy Fogbot was sitting next to; snuck a peek at his name as he fiddled with his envelope at one point; generally appears as though he would fit right into Fogbot's circle of friends

3) 'Elvis Costello-Smith' -- this guy looks like the love child of Elvis Costello and Robert Smith of the Cure; he's got Costello's glasses and facial expressions and Smith's hair cut; oh, and Mr. Rogers' sweater

4) 'Preggers' -- your typical pregnant gal; definitely third trimester; looked pissed-off to be there, pissed off to be alive, really

5) 'Phone Call Guy' -- this is the guy who, as soon as permitted, jumps on the community phone and immediately tells the person on the other line 'the whole story'; 'Yeah...they're going to update us every half hour...yeah...well, one group already left...un-hunh...I don't know...I could get let go early...yeah...ok...I'll call you back later when I hear something

6) 'I-Pod Guy' -- this is the guy who looks to old to know how to operate an I-Pod, let alone own one; homeboy's wearing a 'Greatful Dead' hat and listening to tunes at way too loud of a volume

7) 'Impatient Guy' -- this is the guy who didn't bring reading material of his own, looks uncomfortable to be around this many people, and who definitely thinks he's missing his opportunity for promotion at work; Settle down, guy"

Now, to be completely forthright with you, dear reader, "Elvis Costello-Smith" was called as a part of the first group. Plus -- and Fogbot just found this out today -- the case that "Elvis" and his cohorts were potential jurors for was the infamous "St. Paul Cop-killer" case that's going on right now (and which was almost declared a mistrial today).

Regardless, the rest of us "unchosen" went back to our reading, daydreaming, phone-talking, and/or sleeping.

Or questioning. Like, "Why aren't there any attractive women in here?" It was 9:45 am.

To be continued...


Anonymous super rookie said...

Good thing he didn't look like the child of Elvis Costello and Running Back Robert Smith...


In the cop case. They got the wrong guy. It was the states witness...tell 'em that.

Thu Jan 12, 11:02:00 PM 2006

Blogger Lunatic Biker said...

Excellent play-by-play. Still waiting to some day be called to serve. I don't know how it would work for me. I'm pretty hungry all the time.

Fri Jan 13, 05:37:00 AM 2006


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