Flash Drive

Seen my flash drive? I haven't. Shit.

Tuffy Not to Defend Title

Tuffy claims his prize at Stupor Bowl 9 (2006) from (dis)pencer (l) and SuperRookie.

---FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE---

Grumpy's / Little Guy Racing

NE Minneapolis

Contact: Ray @ http://lunaticbiker.blogspot.com

Defending Stupor Bowl Poker Champion Tuffy has announced that he will not defend his title at this Saturday's running of Stupor Bowl 10.

"After careful consideration and consultation from my trainer, my manager, my team director, my massage therapist, and my yogi, it is with restrained jubilation that I announce that I will not be participating in Stupor Bowl 10," Tuffy read from a prepared statement this afternoon.

The announcement was not completely unexpected. Tuffy had been hedging on participating for some time, and had reportedly told his inner circle that he would be riding Stupor Bowl for training, if at all.

"In the end, my personal schedule will not allow me to attend, and I'm mildly disappointed in that, at most.

"Hopefully someone else will come up with a full house of cowboys and bullets this year...but I doubt it," Tuffy pronounced.

This One's For Skibby

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. January 2007.

The Big Stud Farm in the Sky

Now we just have to wait for Ariel Sharon and Fidel Castro to develop hoof infections...

Fliptastic?

Tuffy: Who's the next Gopher basketball coach going to be?

Source: My contacts are telling me that it'll be 1) Flip or 2) Majerus. And the Gophers are going to be willing to pay.

Tuffy: What would you put the odds of netting Flip at?

Source: 75%

GP Photo Blog

Adam Bergman (l) shows up at Friday's Grand Performance "after party"; Jim R. forced to flee to restroom for modesty's sake.

"Candy Girl" Redux

Reader Tom from Minnetonka writes:
"I got a lap dance from Diablo Cody at Choice. She was shitty."

There's always a critic, I guess...

Tuffy's Book Club: "Candy Girl"

Welcome to the debut of the Tuffy Book Club!

The first piece of literature on our docket is "Candy Girl: A Year in the Life of an Unlikely Stripper" by Diablo Cody.

Cody, not her real name (somewhat obviously), is a 21st Century success story. Toiling in obscurity in a series of "square" and soul-crushing pseudo-corporate jobs, Cody went on a dissociative fugue of sorts, quitting the mind-numbing monotony of the cube farm to join to dark and enigmatic culture of clothing-optional entertainment. She emerged from her year of subversion with a hit website (found in its new, tamer incarnation at http://blogs.citypages.com/dcody/), a steady editorial position at the City Pages, several screenplay opportunities, and, of course, a book deal.

Overtly, Cody's tome advertises itself to those curious about the world of nude female entertaining. And, for this audience, Cody does not disappoint. The reader is taken on a roughly 365-day tour of strip clubs, peep shows, and the phone sex trade in our fair Midwestern metropolis.

However, Cody's memoir is infinitely more entertaining and enlightening when creatively, touchingly and endearingly engaging in topics not advertised.

To wit, to a large extent, this story of one of a woman trying to support a non-traditional family in a city largely foreign to her while also mothering a daughter not her own. Oh, and Cody met her domestic partner on-line, too. This familial reality, in itself, could be the foundation of another (completely different) novel.

Cody also challenges the reader to step outside of the norm and envision their world completely turned upside-down. She holds a mirror to our faces and makes us examine our carefully planned and precisely executed day-to-day existence. If you are comfortable with who you are, the novel will not affect you on this level. However, if you feel anywhere near the mental location that Cody found herself, such will undoubtedly be the context of internal debates stretching into the near future.

While exposing the often seedy underbelly of the sometimes non-intercourse sex trade, Cody also exposes the often seedy underbelly of the Twin Cities themselves. The author takes us to familiar yet completely foreign locales and gives the reader a glimpse of the side of the Cities that they've never (most likely) let themselves explore. Cody grabs our hand and rushes us through the dimly lit entrances underneath those exotic awnings that we've often contemplated but rarely fulfilled.


Diablo Cody's novel "Candy Girl: A Year in the Life of an Unlikely Stripper" is currently in print (both hard and soft cover), $14.00.

The Big Time

Say...which way to the Champagne Room?


Well, without even trying and in completely dumb-luck fashion, the "little blog that could", The Fog of Work, received its most notable and mainstream citation this morning.

And, naturally, since I don't read the newspaper, a friend of the blog had to call and point it out. But, lo and behold, there is was at the bottom of the back page of the Star-Trib's "A" section today: "The Blog House" by T. O'Brien featuring my "Gov. Timmy" post from a few days ago.

So, I guess the writing is on the wall now. I'll have to shell out the big bucks to buy a fancy new domain name, keep blogging in a very cynical and sometimes thoughtful manner, bust my hump for a few years, and save enough money to buy that used '96 Toyota I've had my eye on.

Fame and fortune, here I come! All thanks to you, Strib!


Hat tip to Buck over at the now-defunct Just Visiting blog for clueing me into my new-found glory...

Superpower #2

So, you still want to believe that the United States is the only superpower in the world, hunh?

Ok. Remember this? That was only the first step.

Now, today, this. This is step number two.

And this? This will be step number three.

Get used to it. Come to grips with it.

Why? Because we can't invade them.

Oh Snap!

Gov. Timmy

Minnesota Governor Timmy Pawlenty is angling to become the runningmate of Arizona Senator John McCain in the 2008 Presidential campaign.

Pawlenty announced today that he will be co-chairing a committee that will explore the possibility of McCain running for the Republican nomination for President. Today's move by Pawlenty creates further distance between him and long-time political foe George W. Bush.

The pairing of McCain and Pawlenty makes perfect Presidental political sense, partnering two individuals of disparate backgrounds: McCain is a military veteran and former prisoner of war who is both outspoken and thoughtful, possessing a sharp intellect and a keen grasp of centrist values. Pawlenty, on the other hand, never served a day in the military, works entensively behind the scenes in devious and weasel-like ways, and possesses a soft mind and no grasp of any value not presented on the teleprompter or notecards in front of him.

Pawlenty also announced that he will attempt to return the characteristics of dead-weight wishy-washiness to the role of the Vice President that have been so blatantly missing in the current administration.

Cipo Reviews: 2007 T-Mobile Kit

Cipo reviews T-Mobile's 2007 kits:

"Zo dey are-a keepinga zee traditionale Zee-Mobeel color, yes? Uhh...I doo nut lika za U-nee-seff azur stripe a cross za chest -- look strange, no? Uhh...it ruin za good designa. And, uhh, what izz za Zee-Mobeel doing ga wita za campiona ovva za Danmarka? Don'ta dey knowa dat za rouge, uhh, clashes wita za pinka?

Over dee alla, Cipo givesa za kits tre of za pozziball quattro cheetah skin."

Oklahoma City is still near the asshole of America (which is, of course, Arkansas)

Remember when the city of New Orleans was beset by a couple of thunderstorms, tornadoes, floodings, and some high winds that all hit the city at the same time and endured for about a day or so?

You might not.

Anyway, the city's professional basketball team used the event to fly the coop to Oklahoma City, albeit only temporarily. But, then, an amazing thing happened: the team's attendance sky-rocketed and talk began of moving a team there permanently.

But New Orleans and the state of Louisiana made some sizable financial guarantees to both the basketball Hornets and the football Saints, and both teams committed to staying in the rebuilt metropolis for at least the short-term.

So then a group from Oklahoma City went out and bought the NBA's Seattle SuperSonics, and rumors began to swirl that unless the Sonics got a new arena in Seattle, the squad was Oklahoma City bound.

It kind of reminds me of when the owner of the Hartford Whalers of the NHL rattled his sabres and held that city hostage for a new arena. When it didn't happen, the team moved to the hockey hotbed of North Carolina (North Carolina!). NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman endorsed the move, saying that the NHL needed to have teams in competitive markets, thus insinuating that the Raleigh-Durham market was somehow potentially more lucrative than Hartford -- the insurance capital of the world and a de facto suburb of New York City. Whatever.

But moving a basketball team from Seattle to Oklahoma City? Seriously? Have you seen this picture from last night?

Unless thousands of Oklahoma City basketball enthusiasts came to the game dressed as empty seats, it looks as though the novelty has worn off. Or the shine is off that apple. Or the honeymoon is over.

Think again, Oklahoma City.

A Better Business Model

Get this:
On Monday, Comcast implemented their new service and rate packages for 2007. I didn't think this would concern me.

That was until I punched in Channel 57 tonight at 6pm.

And Channel 57 didn't show up.

See, in St. Paul, Channel 57 was ESPN Classic. ESPN Classic is one of my favorite channels because of classic boxing action and, at 6pm every evening, "Stump the Schwab".

But now, Channel 57 in St. Paul is Channel 57.

So I called Comcast. It seems that I won't have any problem getting ESPN Classic back...so long as I pay an additional $4.95/month for Comcast's "Sports Tier".

Oh sure, with the "Sports Tier" I get some other channels, like Fox Sports Atlantic, Fox Sports Pacific, NFL TV, and SkySports (UK). The problem is, however, that I would have never had to make this call if ESPN Classic hadn't disappeared from my current package. And for that, I get to fork over another $4.95/month to the local cable monopoly. Beautiful.

Here's the best part, though: I can't even get ESPN Classic in my new "Sports Tier" until February 1.

Why? I have no idea. Neither did Patsy at Comcast. But, for now, ESPN Classic is lost in the Comcast broadcasting monolith for another 20 days.

Bottom line: Love ya, Comcast. "Comcastic", my ass.

Lost

Hey. We over here at The Fog of Work / Tuffy Town lost a digital camera last night (Sat Jan 6).

The camera is a Canon Powershot A540, and it was lost at or between one of the following locations:
--Kikugawa (St. Anthony Main)
--Orchestra Hall - Minnesota Orchestra (Downtown Mpls)
--Mancini's Char House (W. 7th St., St. Paul)

If you have any info, shoot me an e-mail at thefogofwork@gmail.com

There is a handsome reward for this camera.

Thanks.

Well

Well, just cross him off of the list, then!

The Word

(image caption) University of Wisconsin offensive coordinator Paul Chryst. (image courtesy of Scout.Com)


Tuffy has learned so Tuffy must report:

My sources are telling me that there are three names that have come to the fore on the University of Minnesota's short list for the position of Head Coach - Football.

These three names are:
--Paul Chryst, OC - Wisconsin
--Frank Solich, HC - Ohio
--Marc Trestman, ex-OC - NC State

Two other names are being mentioned, but more along the lines of "alternates":
--Craig Bohl, HC - North Dakota State
--Larry Coker, ex-HC - Miami


Tuffy would endorse either Chryst or Solich. Trestman makes me vomit in my mouth. Bohl is a curiosity, and Coker makes me want to give up my season tickets.

Why Do They Hate Us?

Remember when you were in high school, and you learned that "the sun never set on the British Empire" during its height, especially the end of the 19th Century?

What your teacher didn't tell you is that the sun never sets on the United States' Empire today.

Oh, sure: no one calls the United States an "empire", but isn't that only semantics? Don't we act today like the classic empires have in the past? Do we have any more concern for the people and places we dominate today than classic empires did yesteryear?

"Why do they hate us?" is a refrain often heard flying from the mouths of simpletons. Perhaps an answer is because the United States doesn't seem to be recognizing or respecting the sovereignty of nations today.

Where's the proof? Here's one piece...enjoy!

Local Celebrity News

BREAKING NEWS: Garrison Keillor, creator and star of "A Prairie Home Companion", drinks large 2% lattes.